Author: Elizabeth

  • My Biggest Toxic Trait

    “My biggest toxic trait is…I know how to love but I don’t know how to believe I’m loved.” The words, stark and honest, hit a nerve. It’s a confession, a raw admission of deep-seated vulnerability. It’s about the chasm between knowing how to give love and accepting it in return. It’s a painful paradox, a heart that overflows with affection yet struggles to receive it.

    This isn’t just about romantic love. It bleeds into every facet of connection – friendships, family, community. It’s the gnawing feeling that I’m on a periphery, always extending a hand while bracing for rejection. It’s the fear that if people truly knew me, the messy, imperfect me, the love would vanish like the morning mist.

    I know how to love. I love deeply, passionately, completely. I love with every fiber of my being, offering my heart freely, without reservation. I nurture connections, celebrate milestones, offer support, give gifts, express affection – the full repertoire of love languages flows effortlessly from me. It’s innate, a part of who I am.

    But believing I’m loved? That’s the battleground. That’s where the insecurities whisper their insidious lies. “You’re not worthy.” “You’re too much.” “They don’t really care.” The voices are relentless, eroding my self-worth, making me question the sincerity of every embrace, every compliment, every expression of affection.

    It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, this inability to accept love, I push people away, create distance, test their loyalty, all subconsciously, all driven by the fear of being hurt, of being proven right – that I’m not lovable. And in doing so, I create the very reality that I dread.

    It’s exhausting, this constant push and pull, this internal war between the heart that wants to connect and the mind that sabotages every opportunity. It’s a lonely existence, even surrounded by people who care. It’s like being on the outside looking in, watching love flow between others, wondering if I’ll every truly be a part of it.

    This quote, it’s a mirror reflecting my deepest fear – the fear of vulnerability, the fear of not being enough. It’s a call to self-awareness, a recognition of a toxic pattern that needs to be broken. It’s a reminder that healing begins with acknowledging the wound.

    Learning to believe I am loved is a journey, a long and arduous one. It requires dismantling the wall I have built around my heart, challenging the negative voices, and embracing vulnerability with open arms. It means accepting the love offered, even when it feels uncomfortable, even when a part of me whispers, “This can’t be real.”

    It’s about self-compassion, recognizing my worthiness, understanding that I am deserving of love, just as I am. It’s about rewriting the narrative, silencing the inner critic, and allowing myself to be loved, truly loved, without reservation or fear. It’s about finally believing that the love I so freely give can also be mine to receive. It’s about coming home to myself, accepting all the pieces, and finally understanding that I am enough. And in that acceptance, opening myself to the boundless possibilities of love.

  • Let It Be So…

    The ink bleeds secrets tonight, a dark mirror reflecting truths whispered in shadowed corners of the soul. It speaks of monsters we wrestle, native terrors coiled in the marrow of our being. “Transform the monster,” it urges, not slay it, but shape its darkness into a vessel of light.

    For even in the abyss, life flickers. Every cell, a universe in miniature, vibrates with the echoes of creation. Our wounds, far from scars of defeat, pulse with a strange vitality, a testament to battles fought and survived. We are alchemists of self, brewing our own elixirs of resilience, each breath a potent draught.

    No separation exists between the finite and the infinite. We are threads in the grand tapestry, extensions of the divine, our minds the loom upon which the sacred and the mundane intertwine. The body, a temple of whispers, houses a symphony of nerves, a trillion stars woven into a constellation of feeling. One faltering note can silence the entire orchestra, a reminder of the delicate balance within.

    Yet, within this fragility lies boundless potential. We are not defined by limitations, but by the boundless expense of our being. “Undefined…whole,” the ink proclaims, a paradox that sings of wholeness in the face of mystery. Healing is not a miraculous exception, but the birthright of every soul, an inherent rhythm in the symphony of existence.

    Let it be so. Let it be natural as breath, as heartbeat, as the turning of the seasons. Let thoughts blossom into words, and words take root in deeds, each act a prayer whispered into the vast cathedral of existence. For within these fragile vessels, we hold the spark of divinity, the power to transform, to transcend, to become the very medicine that mends the world.

  • You’re Beginning to Understand

    “You’re beginning to understand, aren’t you? That the whole world is inside you: in your perspectives and in your heart. That to be able to find peace, you must be at peace with yourself first; and once you learn how to master this, you will be protected from everything that makes you feel like you can not go on, that with this gift of recognizing yourself, even when you are alone, you will never be lonely.”

    “You’re beginning to understand, aren’t you?” The words, posed as a question, feel more like a gentle affirmation, a quiet recognition of a truth slowly dawning within. It’s a truth about the self, about the intricate connection between inner peace and outer experience.

    The world, it’s not “out there”, separate and distinct from me. It’s not something that happens to me, but rather something I carry within me, a landscape shaped by my perceptions, colored by my emotions, defined by the stories I tell myself about who I am and my place in the universe. It’s a profound realization, this understanding that I am the architect of my own reality, the curator of my inner world.

    To find peace, the quote suggests, I must first be at peace with myself. Not the idealized self I sometimes aspire to be, but the real, flawed, beautifully imperfect self that I am in the moment. It’s about accepting my strengths and weaknesses, my joys and sorrows, my light and my shadow, and recognizing that they are all integral parts of the intricate tapestry of my being. It’s about self-compassion, forgiveness, and embracing the journey of self-discovery with curiosity and kindness.

    And to truly enjoy life, I must enjoy who I am. This feels like a radical act in a world that constantly bombards us with messages of inadequacy, urging us to strive for an ever-elusive “better” version of ourselves. But the truth is, joy cannot be found in the pursuit of perfection; it blossoms in the fertile ground of self-acceptance. It’s about celebrating my unique gifts, honoring my authentic voice, and finding delight in the simple fact of my existence.

    Mastering this, the quote promises, will be a form of protection. Not a shield against external challenges, but an inner strength, a resilience that allows me to navigate the inevitable storms of life without being completely destroyed. When I know who I am, when I accept and love myself unconditionally, I am anchored. I can weather the criticisms, the setbacks, the disappointments, because my sense of worth comes from within, not from external validation.

    The most powerful promise lies in the final words: “even when you are alone, you will never be lonely.” Loneliness, in its deepest sense, is a feeling of disconnection, a sense of being separate from myself and the world around me. But when I recognize that the whole world resides within me, when I cultivate a deep and loving relationship with myself, I am never truly alone. I carry within me a source of infinite companionship, a wellspring of creativity, resilience, and love.

    This isn’t just about solitude; it’s about finding solace in my own company, about recognizing my inherent worth, about understanding that I am enough. It’s about coming home to myself, embracing all the facets of my being, and discovering that within this inner landscape lies a peace that transcends circumstance, a joy that radiates from within, and a love that never fades. It’s about understanding that I am the world, and in that understanding, finding a profound and unshakeable sense of belonging.

  • Here’s To Desserts!

    Okay, let’s be real, the person who came up with “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts” was either a genius or someone desperately in need of a sugar rush. Or both, honestly. I mean, who among us hasn’t looked at a towering pile of paperwork and thought, “You know what? This could really benefit from a triple-chocolate fudge brownie?”

    It’s uncanny, isn’t it? The way those six letters flip and transform, going from a state of utter chaos to pure, unadulterated joy. It’s like the universe is winking at us, saying, “Hey, I know adulting is hard. Here’s a little linguistic magic to remind you that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s probably a refrigerator filled with ice cream.”

    This discovery feels like permission to embrace the chaos, to acknowledge that sometimes, the only way to deal with stress is to face-plant into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. It’s self-care disguised as a spelling lesson. It’s like my inner child is finally being heard, validated, and given a free pass to the dessert table.

    And let’s be honest, “stressed” is my default setting. Between deadlines, drama, and the constant existential dread of not knowing what I’m doing with my life, my brain is a perpetual anxiety pinata just waiting to explode. But then I remember: desserts. They exist. They are real. And they are the spelled-backwards antidote to everything that ails me.

    It’s not about ignoring my problems, it’s about prioritizing my mental health. And if a spoonful of Rocky Road can momentarily silence the screaming void of despair, then who am I to argue with destiny? Or, you know, a cleverly constructed anagram.

    So, to the brilliant mind who made this connection, I salute you. You’ve given us a mantra, a coping mechanism, and a perfectly valid excuse to always have a stash of emergency chocolate on hand. Because life is stressful, but thank goodness, we have desserts. And honestly, sometimes I think that’s the only difference between me having a meltdown and me just being slightly overwhelmed, but ultimately a functional, human being. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear a pint of ice cream calling my name. It’s for stress, you know, spelled backwards. Purely medicinal.

  • The Vessel

    The universe heard my whisper, a yearning for growth echoing in the quiet corners of my soul. “Use me,” I breathed, “as a vessel.” I envisioned a gentle expansion, like a flower slowly unfurling its petals. I did not foresee the storm.

    The stripping began subtly, a slow erosion of the familiar. Comfort became a distant memory, replaced by a persistent unease, like a stone in my shoe I couldn’t shake out. Everything I held dear, every certainty I clung to, began to feel like sand slipping through my fingers. My foundations crumbled, leaving me exposed and vulnerable.

    In the raw emptiness, I was forced to look inward. The universe, in its infinite wisdom, had cleared the debris, creating space for introspection. I learned to seek the quiet voice within, the compass that pointed true north when the external world was a blur of chaos. Love became less about grand gestures and more about the gentle whisper of self-acceptance, the quiet understanding of another’s soul.

    Silence, once an uncomfortable void, transformed into a sanctuary. In the stillness, I discovered the power of listening, not just to others, but to the whispers of my own heart. Letting go, initially a painful severing, became a liberation. I released the expectations, the resentments, the stories that no longer served me. Moving on, I realized it wasn’t about forgetting, but about integrating the lessons of the past into the tapestry of my present.

    Boundaries, once porous and easily crossed, became firm lines drawn in the sand. I learned to protect my energy, to honor my needs, to say “no” without apology. Compassion, born from my own struggles, bloomed in my heart, not only for others but, more importantly, for myself. I learned to forgive my missteps, to embrace my imperfections, to extend the same grace I offered others.

    The universe, it seemed, was not content with gentle lessons. It demanded I find my voice. I learned to fight, not with fists or anger, but with the unwavering strength of my convictions. Assertiveness replaced naivete, and I discovered the power of speaking my truth, even when my voice trembled.

    And then, the transformation was complete. The vessel, once emptied and broken, was now overflowing with newfound strength, wisdom, and resilience. The universe, having reshaped me in its crucible, whispered a new directive: “share.”

    Share the lessons learned in the darkness, the wisdom gleaned from the storms. Share the love that blossomed in the emptiness, the compassion forged in the fires of adversity. Share the strength that emerged from vulnerability, the voice that found its resonance in the silence.

    I am no longer the same vessel that whispered its yearning to the universe. I am a vessel overflowing, ready to pour out the riches I have been so painstakingly filled with. And as I share, I realize that the journey was for my own growth and of others. The universe, in its grand design, had used me, not just as a vessel, but as a conduit. And in that realization, I found my purpose.

  • The Audacious Legacy

    We’re given the brief, flickering spark of existence, a precious and unrepeatable chance to etch our story onto the fabric of time. The common narrative whispers of “aging gracefully” , a gentle fading into the background. But what if, instead, we chose a different path? What if we embraced the audacity of our fleeting time, choosing to ignite rather than to fade?

    “Your time on earth is limited.” This isn’t a threat, but a potent reminder. A reminder that every laugh un-laughed, every risk un-taken, every dream un-chased is a piece of our precious story left unwritten. Why settle for a polite, predictable narrative when we have the power to pen an epic adventure?

    “Age with mischief.” Let this not be a call to recklessness, but a battle cry against complacency. Let mischief be the spark that ignites our curiosity, the playful nudge that pushes us beyond our comfort zones. Let it be the courage to color outside the lines, to dance in the rain, to ask “what if?” and then dare to find out.

    “Age with audacity.” Audacity isn’t arrogance; it’s the quiet confidence to believe in our own potential, the unwavering determination to pursue our passions, no matter how grand or unconventional. It’s the strength to stand tall in the face of doubt, to speak our truth even when our voices tremble, to chase dreams that seem impossibly distant.

    “And a great story to tell.” This is the ultimate legacy. Not a perfectly curated image of serene composure, but a vibrant tapestry woven with threads of laughter, tears, triumphs, and stumbles. A story that inspires others to embrace their own audacity, a story that whispers, “Yes, you too can live a life less ordinary.”

    So, let us embrace the fleeting nature of our time. Let us fill our days with mischief, fuel our souls with audacity, and craft a story worth telling. Let us not simply age, but truly live. For it is not the years in our lives that count, but the life in our years. And the most extraordinary lives are the ones lived with a touch of mischief, a dash of audacity, and a whole lot of heart.

    “Your time on earth is limited. Don’t try to ‘age with grace’. Age with mischief, audacity and a great story to tell.”

  • Healing: A Journey of Letting Go and Opening Up

    “Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” This quote beautifully captures the essence of healing. It acknowledges that pain and trauma leave their mark, but it emphasizes that we don’t have to be defined or limited by them. Healing is about reclaiming our power from the wounds that once held us captive, choosing to live a life not dedicated to past hurts.

    “Inner healing begins the moment you choose to let go of the wounds that no longer serve you and make space for the peace that awaits within.” This speaks to the profound shift that occurs when we consciously choose to release the grip of past hurts. It’s a courageous act of self-compassion, recognizing that holding onto pain only perpetuates suffering. By letting go, we create the space for healing to blossom, allowing peace to take root and flourish.

    “True healing in any relationship begins when we replace judgement with compassion, assumption with empathy, and resentment with forgiveness – allowing love and understanding to flourish in every connection.” This quote highlights the importance of cultivating compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. These qualities are the bedrock of genuine connection. When we approach our relationships with understanding rather than judgement, we create a safe and nurturing space for love and growth to thrive.

    These words resonate deeply with me because they remind me that healing is an ongoing process, not a destination. It’s a journey of self-discovery, of learning to navigate the complexities of life with grace and resilience. It’s about honoring our pain while also choosing to move forward, to embrace the beauty and joy that life offers.

    As I reflect on these quotes, I am reminded of the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness, not only for myself but also for those around me. I am reminded that healing is a collective endeavor, a tapestry woven together by the threads of compassion, empathy and understanding.

  • The Bad Pancake

    Oh, the dreaded “bad pancake” label! It’s like a scarlet letter for anyone who dares to date someone fresh out of a serious relationship. But fear not, fellow pancake enthusiasts, for I’ve got some humorous advice on how to navigate this sticky situation.

    First things first, let’s acknowledge the absurdity of it all. We’re not talking about a literal burnt breakfast here, but a complex human interaction. It’s as if our worth is measured by how well we can absorb the emotional fallout of someone else’s past relationship. Talk about pressure!

    So, what’s a pancake to do? Well, for starters, embrace the metaphor. After all, pancakes are delicious, even the slightly burnt ones. There’s something comforting about their warm, fluffy texture and the sweet syrup that masks any imperfections. Maybe, just maybe, you can be the “burnt” pancake that leads to a perfectly golden batch in the future.

    But seriously, if you suspect you’re the bad pancake, these are a few things you can do. First, communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Let them know that you’re aware of their past relationship and that you’re there for them, but not to replace anyone. Second, set boundaries. It’s okay to say no to things that make you uncomfortable or that feel like you’re being used as a rebound. And finally, remember that you’re not responsible for their healing process. You can be there for them, but don’t let their baggage become yours.

    At the end of the day, the “bad pancake” label is just a silly term. It doesn’t define you or your worth. So go forth and enjoy your pancakes, burnt or otherwise. Just remember to flip them often and don’t be afraid to add a little extra love in the form of syrup.

  • The Mosaic of Life: How Experiences Shape Our Place in the World.

    I often think of life as a vast, intricate mosaic. Each individual tile, each unique experience, contributes to the overall picture, creating a masterpiece of colors, textures, and shapes. Our joys, our sorrows, our triumphs, our failures – all these seemingly disparate pieces come together to form the complex and beautiful tapestry of our existence.

    Our experiences, both big and small, leave their mark on us. They shape our perspectives, our values, our beliefs, and even our personalities. The challenges we overcome, the relationships we forge, the lessons we learn – these all contribute to the mosaic of our being.

    My own journey has been a stark reminder of this truth. Diagnosed with breast cancer in 2020, I faced a series of daunting challenges – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation. Fear of the unknown, fear of mortality, fear of what the future held. Yet, through it all, I chose to focus on the present moment, to find joy in the small victories – a good night’s sleep, a delicious meal, a sunny day. I even found ways to inject humor into the situation, playing pranks on my doctors to keep my spirits up.

    This experience, this brush with mortality, has irrevocably changed me. It has stripped away the superficial and highlighted what truly matters : the preciousness of life, the importance of human connection, and the power of resilience. I am a different woman now, more grateful for each sunrise, more appreciative of the little moments of joy, and more determined to live life to the fullest.

    Every interaction, every conversation, every book we read, every movie we watch – all these experiences add another layer to our understanding of the world and our place within it. They broaden our horizons, expand our empathy, and deepen our appreciation for the diversity of the human experience.

    Our experiences also help us to connect with others. Shared experiences, whether it’s the joy of raising a family, the pain of loss, or the thrill of achieving a goal, create a sense of belonging and connection. They remind us that we are not alone in our struggles and our triumphs.

    My journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It is a reminder that even in the face of adversity, we can find strength and hope. And it is a reminder that our experiences, even the most challenging ones, shape who we are and where we fit in the world. They add color and texture to our mosaic, making it a unique and beautiful reflection of our journey.

    So, as we navigate the twists and turns of life, let us embrace our experiences, both good and bad. Let us learn from them, grow from them, and use them to build a life that is meaningful and fulfilling. For it is through these experiences that we discover who we truly are and where we truly belong in this vast and wondrous world.

  • The Strength of Resilience

    Maya Angelou, a poet and writer of profound wisdom, reminds us that life’s journey is not always paved with sunshine and roses. We will encounter setbacks, disappointments, and even outright defeats. These challenges, these moments of darkness, can feel like insurmountable obstacles, threatening to crush our spirit and define us by our failures.

    But Angelou offers a powerful counterpoint: “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” She reminds us that setbacks are not synonymous with failure. They are opportunities for growth, for self-discovery, for learning and evolving.

    “In fact,” she continues, “it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” These experiences, these trials, chisel at the rough edges of our character, revealing the strength and resilience within. They teach us our limits, but also confront our fears, to dig deep within ourselves and find the courage to rise above the pain.

    And even when life throws us curve balls, even when we feel like we’ve been knocked down and can’t get back up, Angelou reminds us that we have the power to choose our response. “I can be changed by what happens to me,” she writes, “but I refuse to be reduced by it.”

    We can be shaped by our experiences, influenced by the challenges we face, but we are not defined by them. We have the agency to choose how we respond, to learn from our setbacks, to rise above adversity, and to emerge stronger, wiser, and more adaptable.

    Trauma may leave scars, but every scar is proof of your strength – evidence that you endured, and a reminder that healing is possible. Just as a tree grows stronger with each storm, we too can emerge from life’s challenges more resilient, more deeply rooted, and more capable of flourishing.

    Resilience isn’t about erasing the storm – it’s about discovering the strength to dance in the rain and the courage to see the rainbow beyond it. It’s about acknowledging the pain, honoring the scars, and choosing to move forward, not despite the storm, but because of it!

    So, let us embrace the challenges, learn from our defeats, and remember that even in the darkest of times, there is always the possibility of hope and renewal. Let us strive to be like the phoenix, rising from the ashes, stronger and more beautiful than ever before.